


Once, Twice, Thrice

by StarryGatorr



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Fluffy, M/M, Movie Night, Secret Santa
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-30
Updated: 2019-12-30
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21983686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarryGatorr/pseuds/StarryGatorr
Summary: For the twelfth day of Christmas my true love gave to me: twelve trolls a'playing, eleven assaulting smuppets, ten seconds a'ticking, nine timelines ruined, eight planets a'spinning, seven deaths a'happening, six drones a'culling, fiiive no-orb rings! Four quadrants blending, three years on a meteor, two fools in love, and a blu-ray Sandler movie!
Relationships: Dave Strider/Karkat Vantas
Comments: 4
Kudos: 51





	Once, Twice, Thrice

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Christmas, SlitheringViper. You've been a wonderful friend, an artistic inspiration, and an overall great person to be working with on our fanventure. I hope this fic is to your liking.

Multicolor lights dance across the room and blend into the shadows when ventured too far from the screen. The gold blooded lead actress spins on her heel to face her lover, a human man, who moves towards her and takes her arms, sternly yet gently. They make eye contact only for a moment before their faces move towards one anothers in unison, lips meeting. Sweet, serenading music spills from the speakers and is almost enough to drown out the small sniffles and gasps erupting from one of two film spectators.

Dave spares his over dramatic boyfriend(?)/roommate/best bro one perked up eyebrow before crawling out of their blanket cocoon and switching the movie off. Karkat erupts from his spot.

KARKAT: DAVE!!!!

DAVE: what

KARKAT: WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING FUCK WAS THAT FOR?!

DAVE: movies done

KARKAT: NO IT WASN’T! THERE IS VERY CLEARLY THREE MINUTES REMAINING. ANYONE WITH A PAIR OF EYEBALLS NOT TRAPPED BEHIND A PAIR OF TINTED GLASSES AND CONNECTED TO A MALFUNCTIONING THINKPAN WOULD CLEARLY SEE THIS!

DAVE: dude come on

DAVE: the two protagonists had their epic snog and the fanciful heartwank music played

DAVE: its as good as over

DAVE: besides its just us now so no ones gonna complain

The once packed crouch and occupied floor space is now vacant of moviegoers. Friends and fellow gods had originally gathered for a movie night, but not even their most resident movie enthusiast could bear the ungodly hours Karkat and Dave had decided to endure. Now everybody has returned to their respective homes to retire for the night.

KARKAT: WELL YOU’RE WRONG, BECAUSE I’M GOING TO COMPLAIN, AND RIGHTFULLY SO.

DAVE: aw please bro give it a rest

DAVE: we still gotta finish this last one its understandable if we skip just three minutes

To prove his point, Dave holds up the final bluray case and flops it about. It’s a romcom following the zany and embarrassing adventures of none other than Adam Sandler. Human Adam Sandler, that is.

DAVE: dont be a grouch man

DAVE: its saaaandlerrrrr

KARKAT: FINE, WHATEVER. I’LL STOP COMPLAINING ONLY IN THE INTEREST OF SAVING TIME.

KARKAT: THE SOONER WE GET THIS TRAINWRECK OF A MOVIE NIGHT OVER WITH AND SOME ACTUAL SLEEP IN OUR SCHEDULE, THE BETTER.

DAVE: sweet

Dave cracks the plastic case with a satisfying pop and ejects the current CD. He returns the previous movie it to its proper casing before slipping the new movie into the player. There is little warning as he shoots himself up from his squatting position and spins on his heel. He divebombs back into the blanket nest. Karkat screeches and catches him by his arms.

KARKAT: YOU PIECE OF-

DAVE: nuh uh cant hear you its movie time babe

DAVE: were gonna watch adam sandler get into some undeniably wacky shit and probably commit something leaning on the verge of sexual harassment for the sake of a punchline

Dave halfheartedly shoves a pillow into Karkat’s face. Karkat gives an equally lackluster attempt at a struggle before both of them give up their kerfuffle. After living so long together, both of them know when bickering about pointless shit can be shelved for later.

Karkat fusses around with the remote before inputting the correct commands to actually begin the movie. Once the prologue and title screen appear, he tosses the remote aside, where it lands precariously close to a sticky pink stain on the couch. He leans into Dave and rests his head on his shoulders, who responds by letting his head fall onto Karkat’s to rest there. His head rebounds and he swears, pulling himself away. Karkat looks up in bewilderment.

KARKAT: WHAT HAPPENED?

DAVE: i took a nubby horn to the temple is what

Karkat’s eyebrows plummet back into place.

KARKAT: OH.

DAVE: dont you “oh” me i could have a concussion

KARKAT: NO YOU FUCKING DON’T.

DAVE: i could

DAVE: im a fragile flower man dont you know this

DAVE: i have paper skin and glass bones

Amazingly, Karkat’s unimpressed look only heightens. He lifts a fist and raises three fingers.

KARKAT: HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP.

Dave stares at the hand in total concentration before shrugging.

DAVE: i dunno

KARKAT: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW?

DAVE: i cant see shit with my shades on

KARKAT: THEN TAKE THEM OFF!

DAVE: nah

KART: YES.

DAVE: nah

KARKAT: HOW ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH THE MOVIE?

DAVE: ill just listen

Karkat stares at Dave with a passive face before breaking out into a rageful fit, teeth bared, voice raised, and clammy hands balled up and pounding surprisingly lightly into Dave’s body.

KARKAT: YOU HYPOCRITICAL DOUCHEBAG! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO WAS TELLING ME NOT TO DELAY THE MOVIE, AND NOW YOU’RE NOT EVEN GOING TO WATCH IT?

DAVE: pretty much

The troll pulls away before looking at his companion and glowering at him.

KARKAT: DON’T MAKE ME SAY IT.

DAVE: say what

KARKAT: I *WILL* SAY IT.

DAVE: say what man

KARKAT: YOU LOOK LIKE A FRATBOY.

Dave’s face is one of vague confusion at first, before turning into a look of great offense, then self analyzation, horror, and finally, acceptance.

DAVE: dude

DAVE: my heart

KARKAT: IT’S TRUE DAVE.

DAVE: i know

DAVE: thats what makes it hurt so bad

DAVE: i couldve gone my whole life without knowing that little tidbit you know

DAVE: i could have settled down and make myself an honest living

DAVE: couldve lived a fulfilling life with a good salary and a loving family

DAVE: i take them to the bahamas every summer and we laugh and play by the beach because honestly i need a break from work in the office and that annoying broad who keeps hitting on me in the salary department

DAVE: like fuck off janet im a happily married man

DAVE: couldve retired young but not too young and eventually get stuffed into a retirement home but you know how it be with the kids and them having their own lives to live

DAVE: but no man you had to drop the bomb on me

DAVE: that i look like a fratboy wannabe

KARKAT: IT HAPPENS TO THE BEST OF US.

The conversation laps into comfortable silence as the two partners remember they have a movie to watch, and have already missed a good beginning chunk of. They situate themselves into a more comfortable viewing position, Karkat cross-legged, Dave laying half on the couch and half on his lap, and with Dave’s arms draped around Karkat’s shoulders, hugging his neck. Dave’s attention is on the movie, occasionally snorting from time to time. Karkat however is watching Dave, enamored by the glow of the television on his pale skin. Dave smirks, although he hasn’t spared Karkat even a glance.

DAVE: stop creeping on me bro i know you are

KARKAT: FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEIRD SIXTH SENSE.

Despite his hostile language, Karkat isn’t enraged in the slightest, going as far to demonstrate so by placing a soft kiss to the top of Dave’s head. His face overheats and a series of mumbled gibberish words pour out of his mouth, before finally his body goes slack and he slowly slides onto the floor. Karkat hisses and digs his claws into him.

KARKAT: GET YOUR ASS BACK UP HERE AND FINISH THE MOVIE.

DAVE: cant im melting

KARKAT: DON’T MAKE ME PICK YOU UP.

DAVE: you wont

KARKAT: I WILL.

DAVE: nuh uh

KARKAT: YUH HUH.

DAVE: nuh uh

KARKAT: ALLY-OOP.

DAVE: waitno-

Karkat plants his feet firmly into the ground and heaves Dave up, gathering the lanky human into his arms like how unballed yarn would escape through the gaps in one’s fingers if given the chance. Dave is not given such a chance unfortunately, nor is he brought back to the couch. Karkat carries him up the stairs and into their shared bedroom, dumping him into the single bed slotted into the corner, the recupracoon situated in the corner opposite.

DAVE: you call me a hypocrite but you wont even finish the movie

KARKAT: I THINK GETTING SOME ACTUAL SLEEP IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN WATCHING ADAM SANDLER ACCIDENTALLY FUCK A PINATA.

DAVE: fair enough

Karkat drags the covers out from under Dave’s body with some struggle before hopping in bed and throwing the sheet over the both of them. He almost immediately curls into a ball and inserts himself against Dave’s chest. Dave responds with a smile and his arms around Karkat.

DAVE: have i ever told you that youre like a cat

KARKAT: YES, DAVE, QUITE FUCKING OFTEN. YOU HAVE COMPARED ME TO A PURRBEAST BEFORE, EVEN THOUGH NEPETA WAS FAR MORE FELINE THAN ANY OF US.

DAVE: you should purr it would be cute as hell and all rumbly in your chest and shit

KARKAT: I’M NOT DOING THAT.

KARKAT: I’M NOT EVEN SURE I CAN DO THAT.

DAVE: please ill give you a kitty treat

DAVE: pspspspspsp

KARKAT: YOU ABSOLUTELY NEED SLEEP.

DAVE: i need a cat is what i need

KARKAT: WE’RE NOT GETTING A CAT. WE CAN HARDLY TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES IN THE FIRST PLACE, AS EVIDENT BY YOUR ONE MAN DUMBFUCK COMEDY ACT RIGHT NOW.

DAVE: hell yeah im a one dude dumb shitter play comedy thing

DAVE: one guy stupid fucking theatre kid show

DAVE: the thing you said

KARKAT: GO TO SLEEP, DAVE.

Karkat kisses Dave on the nose in an attempt to get him to shut up, which works. Dave attempts to chase his face and reciprocate, but all he manages to do is kiss Karkat’s closed eye. The troll grumbles and nuzzles his face into Dave’s chest before letting out a long exhale.

KARKAT: GOODNIGHT.

DAVE: love ya too

KARKAT: THAT’S NOT WHAT I SAID.

Dave slides his glasses off of his nose and rests his head against the pillow.

KARKAT: I DO LOVE YOU, THOUGH.

DAVE: told you before bro

DAVE: love ya too

Karkat snorts.

KARKAT: WISEASS.


End file.
